Parenting can be so hard and exhausting – especially if you want to raise kind, responsible, self-motivated kids you actually like.  You’ve probably already figured out that it’s not just about meeting their basic needs (food, shelter, taxi services, etc.), but that there is so much more involved in raising these tiny humans.  

For one thing, they have the power to completely take over our lives if we let them, even as they most certainly take over our hearts – and while we may think giving a hundred percent of ourselves and our attention to our kids is a noble gesture, it may not stand the test of time in the long run.  We’re not sprinting here – we’re running a marathon and in this case, it matters how we cross that finish line – whether we feel satisfied with the way we’ve parented and lived our lives, or whether we have regrets and a little resentment over things we think we missed out on or didn’t enjoy enough.  

So how do we make this amazing parenting journey a little easier on the soul (and our patience!) and much more enjoyable and effective for all involved?  

Here are 5 ways to battle the overwhelm and enjoy the best that parenting has to offer:

1) Get To Know Your Child and His or Her Strengths

When it comes to knowing how to best work with your child, being able to recognize how they learn best and what they’ll respond to is key. Do you have a highly intellectual child who needs to understand the reason behind every task you ask them to do?  Is your child impulsive and needs something to help him focus, slow down, and tune in to what you’re asking him to do in the moment?  Does your child like knowing what to expect ahead of time?  Will your child talk to you more if you’re moving and kicking a ball around?  Or, does he like to sit next to you and have a private talk when he has something important to say?  Does your child shut down if you try to rush him out the door?  What motivates him to do his best?  What causes him anxiety?  

The more you can learn about him, the more you’ll be able to tailor your parenting strategies to what he or she needs.  Try not to work against who your child is.  That doesn’t mean let him do whatever he wants; it means you provide a framework that is flexible enough to adapt to your child’s particular needs while capitalizing on his or her strengths so that you are guiding your child as they figure out who they’re meant to be (without forcing them into being YOUR version of who you’d like them to be.)

2) Create Systems and Routines That Work Well and Stick With Them.

When everyone knows what is expected, things just flow more smoothly.  Morning routines, bedtime routines, homework routines, eating schedules, even guidelines for using cell phones and video games are lifesavers when it comes to avoiding power struggles, being productive, and getting out the door on time. Kids respond well to structure and it works wonders when it comes to creating a family that works as a team.  

Especially if you have school-aged kids, having these structured systems is also a huge benefit for their academic performance and behavior management in school.  But even for toddlers, having a structured routine will set them up with healthy habits from the get-go.  

You may have to try different things before you arrive at a routine that works, but once you find it make sure to stick with it.  Expect some push-back from the kids in the beginning, but like everything new, it takes time to change habits and behavior.  Stay the course and reap the benefits of your hard work by having a more peaceful home and well-adjusted kids who actually contribute to the household.      

3) Allow Room For Mistakes and Develop a Growth Mindset.

When it’s humans raising humans, it’s bound to be imperfect.  So cut everyone some slack (including yourself!) and give your kids the benefit of the doubt when they do something wrong.  Parent from a growth-mindset, believing in the idea that “there are no mistakes, only lessons.”  

When you expect mistakes to be part of normal development and growth for your child, you become the mom your child needs the most.  That is, one that doesn’t freak out and lose her cool when bad things happen, but one that can manage her emotions and problem-solve any situation in a constructive way.  

And here’s the added bonus and challenge for this step:  you must adopt this mindset for yourself too.  You see when it comes to being your child’s teacher, you are only as wise and effective as you have grown yourself to be in your own life.  The best way to teach your kids is by example, so it is not enough just to believe in this mindset, you also have to live it. 

The good news? Learning how to model having a growth mindset makes everything more manageable in the long run because you don’t have to be so angry and upset and worried and overwhelmed when you give yourself and your kids grace, understanding and unconditional love and regard.  Have the wisdom to accept you’re human and go from there, with a humble spirit of curiosity and learning.  It’s the best way to enjoy the journey together.    

4) Add Some Playfulness to the Mix.

I don’t know about you, but I have a high need for fun.  I’m always looking to add playfulness into our days – whether by taking our activities outside, inviting some friends to join in, tapping into our imagination and creativity, or creating memories that brighten everyone’s days.  

Using play and humor is one of my secrets for parenting tweens because, let’s face it, if we can’t lighten up, there’s no way we can truly connect to a seventh grader!  And connecting with our kids is so important for maintaining our influence and helping them navigate all the challenges of growing up while developing healthy habits.  

I like to think that play is every kid’s favorite love language.  And to tell you the truth, I think it is every mom’s most effective tool.  Because the thing is we can’t wait to go on vacation to bond with our kids and have a good time – how many times a year do you get to go on those?  We live our lives and raise our kids one ordinary day at a time.  Let’s elevate our experience, our relationship, our connection by making each day an adventure we enjoy together.  It truly does not take much, just a little bit of playfulness (and some healthy mischief) can take your day and your family to a whole other level. 

5) Remember to Make Time for You.

Finally, don’t forget to count yourself in when you’re making plans for the family.  It’s so easy to focus so much on the kids, we forget our own needs in the process, only to end up running out of steam or not fully engaged with our families because we didn’t take the time to take care of ourselves.  

Make some time for you to nurture your own spirit of curiosity, your friendships, your interests and hobbies.  Pay attention to your emotional health and do the thought work you need to do to get a handle on stress and learn to manage your emotions effectively.  Find a way to incorporate and stick with healthy habits that will give you the energy you need to live a full life with the understanding that your mom role, while probably the most important, is not the only essential one you have; and that ultimately, your life is happening right this very moment. Don’t wait to live it when you think you’ll have more time, or when you think it will get easier, and so forth – live it, and love it now.  

What will you incorporate in your life today to make parenting a little easier and more enjoyable?  Share in the comments!

P.S. If you need some inspiration, grab my FREE GUIDE which is all about how to talk to your kids so they’ll listen and how to strengthen your relationship so it grows even more meaningful throughout the years .  Get yours here.  Enjoy!